Showing posts from October, 2020


I love Halloween. I’m not a freak… I just love the idea of being scared, of winter nights and eery music. I love scaring someone crooked. My ex-wife Delia used to tell me I take things too far. She’d look at me with that contemptuous look of disappointment and say: It’s just Halloween. You don’t have to overdo it. Every year I   did   try to overdo. One year I had assembled bits of literal pumpkin together in order to make a life-size costume of a real pumpkin for our annual neighbourhood costume party – it was gross, disgusting, bits of pumpkin falling all over the floor in an ooze of orange pulp. I loved it! The following year I’d made a wig out of real human hair and bought some second-hand babushka dresses and became – NORMA BATES. I kept jumping out at people using the toilet from behind the shower curtain (Norman Bates but in reverse) –   reeer reeer reeer. Maybe Delia was right, and I did over-do it but what’s the point of celebrating Halloween if you can’t go a little crazy. We


I always fancied myself as a bit of a writer. And that is why I attended a writing class. But these novels – they’re 80,000 words. I don’t have the time, patience or talent to write something that is 80,000 words. My writing teacher always stayed behind to discuss anything extra with students. She was a good teacher. She was kind, patient and generous with her time. I waited for the classroom to completely empty before telling her about my lack of writing confidence and that I want to write something small but effective. It was an issue I felt stupid about, and I was relieved we were alone. “Well what are you interested in?” She asked. “Horror.” I replied. And it’s true, I love horror. Horror movies, horror films, anything that can scare the beejezus out of me. “Have you heard of Reddit?” She asked me. “C’mon. Who hasn’t heard of Reddit?” I laugh. “Well, they have a page called Short Scary Stories. It’s five hundred words.” She said. “How the hell can I scare someone in just five hundr